Marita on the Mamela Music Project

Although this blog is primarily for the reflections of students participating in UConn's Cape Town Study Abroad Program, every once in a while, when I just cannot contain myself, I will add an entry or two.   My posts, similar to those of the students, are shared simply as personal reflections rather than as "official writings" from or about Cape Town or UConn's Study Abroad Program Office. I therefore write simply as Marita ---the person upon whom some locals have bestowed the title of Honorary Capetonian---- not from the perspective of the resident director/ faculty advisor/instructor of this program.

With that said, this is one on of those times I cannot resist sharing one of my experiences . . .


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My Preamble:

Anyone who has spoken with me since my first trip to Cape Town in 2007 has no doubt heard me speak (endlessly some might say) about the multitude of amazingly inspirational projects and people I have gotten to know throughout my time here.  With each subsequent trip I eagerly anticipate reconnecting with those who have educated, challenged, inspired, and befriended me during my previous stays in this magnificent city.  I have come to expect that while in Cape Town I will forever be provided opportunities to continue to expand my horizons as I strive to more fully live the African concept of ubuntu.* However, I am still amazed at how frequently I meet new people ---and am introduced to exciting endeavors---- that spark my imagination, fill my heart with wonder, fuel my intellect with wisdom, and rejuvenate my spirit with hope for a better world.

My Inspiration:

A few days ago I had the privilege of accompanying Charles Louw, founder and director of the Mamela Music Project, as he taught classes in both the primary and secondary schools in Manenberg. During this visit:

•    I saw children's faces light up with joy as they were finally handed one of the three guitars that had to be shared among the learners during their music lesson; 

•    I watched as a young woman graduate of the program worked patiently to write details of her lessons on the black board so students could copy them down--since there were no books or even copies of the music available to be distributed; 

•    I heard solos sung by two high school students who spontaneously offered to sing for the visitors.  These girls, whose brilliant voices broke through the dingy classroom with broken chairs and dim lighting, enlivened the eager faces of their classmates and touched the heart and soul of this visitor. 

Having been to Manenberg before, knowing people who live there, and having heard and read a bit about this community, I know some of the challenges that face the kids in these schools. It was with this knowledge that I was touched not only by the amazing talent of the two girls who sang but perhaps even more so by the words of the songs they chose to sing:

Excerpt from song #1--  
Hero

There's a hero if you look inside your heart


You don't have to be afraid of what you are.


There's an answer if you reach into your soul


and the sorrow that you know will melt away



And then a hero comes along


with the strength to carry on


and you cast your fears aside

and you know you can survive.



So, when you feel like hope is gone


look inside you and be strong

and you'll finally see the truth


that a hero lies in you

Excerpt from song #2-- 

The Greatest Love of All                                                                                      Learners preparing for vocal lesson.

            

I believe the children are our are future


Teach them well and let them lead the way


Show them all the beauty they possess inside


Give them a sense of pride to make it easier


Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody’s searching for a hero

People need someone to look up to


I never found anyone to fulfill my needs

A lonely place to be


So I learned to depend on me


I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows

If I fail, if I succeed


At least I'll live as I believe


No matter what they take from me


They can't take away my dignity


Because the greatest love of all


Is happening to me


I found the greatest love of all


Inside of me


The greatest love of all

It’s easy to achieve

Learning to love yourself 

It is the greatest love of all 

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Perhaps one has to be sitting in this classroom watching this scene unfold for it to have the full impact!  However, if you can imagine these words ringing out in a classroom whose school is so under resourced that the three guitars shared among students in the elementary school had to be transported to the high school for their music lessons, in a township known for its gangs, drug use, and school dropouts rather than for their remarkable music talent-- maybe, just maybe, you can begin to grasp why this experience has propelled me to want to share it.  

Watching the teachers and volunteers in this program provides concrete evidence of how students are trained musically but it also demonstrates MAMELA helps these young people to believe in themselves and, as the words to those songs suggest,  that indeed may be the greatest gift of all!

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A little about the MAMELA Project (from their literature):

"Seventeen years ago a group of socially aware citizens of Cape Town came together to form an organization that could productively involve youth. They were concerned that the social circumstances in our depressed communities may hinder youth development and youth's social mobility. It was decided to favourably consider exposing the school-going and unemployed youth to the benefits of Music as a cultural experience and as a form of employment opportunity.    

MEMELA was born. 

The outcome of their consideration was to start an action group in Manenberg with music as its uplifting focus. Manenberg is a dormitory township beset with many social and economic challenges, which inhibit the growth and development of our youth.

The initial work in MAMELA secured highly satisfying results. MAMELA activities reached many schools in Manenberg and the surrounding areas.  To date 2000 children have attended the classes which are conducted after school hours and, with the co-operation of the school, during school time.

The youth learn to play instruments such as the piano, the recorder, drums, guitar and other instruments, as well as being introduced to the theory of music. In this way, they are introduced to experiences which enrich their lives and make them aware of feelings and ways of living which might not otherwise have been possible."

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Accompanying me on the visit to Manenberg was Michelle Jordan, a recent UConn graduate and participant in UConn's Cape Town Program in 2009. This year she has returned to CPT to complete her MA in Gender Studies at the University of Cape Town.  In her spare time, she will volunteer to teach music theory for some learners in the Mamela Project. In the picture on the left, Charles Louw, director of the program, shows Michelle a few books available for her use in developing her lesson plans.

The Mamela Music Project is a non-profit organization with a registration number of 050-200 NPO.  Of course, as with any worthwhile non-profit project, there are many ways folks can help if they have  time, energy and/or resources they are willing to share. One of my personal goals is to try to get at least a few more guitars for their music program --so if anyone is heading to Cape Town and has room to carry along an extra guitar or two--- please let me know.  Another personal commitment is to sponsor at least one child so she or he can participate in this worthwhile program.

For as little as R200 (about $25) per month it is possible to sponsor a child to attend after school classes.  Mamela folks will then inform sponsors of the individual pupils who benefit from their donations. (If interested contact mamela@telkomsa.net)

Michelle and I are not the only ones who have been inspired by the musical work being done at MAMELA.  Tess Bird, another UConn alum who is currently visiting Cape Town, will be contacting musicians she knows in three US cities to see if they are willing to donate their time and talent to perform in a few venues to help raise funds for additional instruments for this project.  (We will be certain to post the details to the blog when they are available.)

I had not planned to have this blog entry end sounding as if it is a "paid political announcement" but as i wrote i realized i didn't want to deprive those reading this an opportunity to share in the work of this project, if she or he was so inclined.

The Mamela Music Program hopes someday soon to be able to find a volunteer to help them produce a new video depicting the work they are doing. In the meantime they have allowed me to upload their old video to youtube so you can watch it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8nzG4Gthj4  (The Mamela Project now has three guitars -- up from the two they had when the video was made.  Hopefully they will have many more, by the time the next film is made!)

  

This is the current music room in an elementary school where classes are held.  

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* ubuntu:

Archbishop Desmond Tutu offered a definition in a 1999 book No Future Without Forgiveness:  A person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu further explained Ubuntu in 2008: One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu - the essence of being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can't exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can't be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality - Ubuntu - you are known for your generosity. We think of ourselves far too frequently as just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are connected and what you do affects the whole world. When you do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.

Nelson Mandela explained Ubuntu as follows: A traveler through a country would stop at a village and he didn't have to ask for food or for water. Once he stops, the people give him food, entertain him. That is one aspect of Ubuntu but it will have various aspects. Ubuntu does not mean that people should not enrich themselves. The question therefore is: Are you going to do so in order to enable the community around you to be able to improve?

Erica on Education

Last week I began my internship at Thandokhulu Senior Secondary School, a high school for students ranging from 8^th-12^th grade. 

The students are predominantly from Khayelitsha, the largest black township in the Western Cape. Personally, I was given two 11^th grade English classes to teach. Leah and I were thrilled when we realized we’d have our own classrooms! My passion for English, writing, poetry, literature, and teaching are all culminated into this one internship, and I couldn’t have been happier when I learned that I would be able to teach my own classes. More importantly, I would be helping students prepare for their Matric by teaching English. All of the 12^th grade students, or the graduating students, must take an exam in English called the Matric, so having English lessons is extremely important, as each one of these students must pass the Matric in order to qualify for any university or job. In so many words, the Matric exam determines the rest of their lives—a horrifying concept when you think about it, as these Xhosa speaking students are forced to take an exam that determines their future in a language that is NOT their own. Even more horrifying when you put that together with the fact that the Matric is offered in Afrikaans and in English, so it is ONLY the black students who have to take Matric in their second language as opposed to their first. Though the apartheid government ended 15 years ago, the Matric exam is a clear example of why the racial stratification that took place in South Africa is still negatively impacting the nation’s people today. To deny a certain group of people the right to take an exam in their own language, and then to have their scores pinned up against the scores of white and ‘classified colored’ students scores when competing for a university education, seems to be a clear violation of human rights—and yet, it is accepted all over the country as the “norm”.

Entering Thandokhulu, we were told our job would not be easy. We were told: “You will have 55 students in each classroom”. We were told that there were hardly any resources, that the classrooms were small, that there wasn’t enough chalk, and that for 1,056 students there were only 30 books in their “mobile library”. And though I knew that 55 students is a large number of students for one teacher, and though I understood the school was vastly under-resourced, it didn’t really hit me until I began teaching. I walked into one of the smallest classrooms I have ever seen to have 55 students staring up at me—assessing me, first by the color of my skin. “What are you teaching?” a student asked. But before I could answer, another student said: “She’s teaching English, stupid.” After hushing the class and telling that particular student not to call someone else stupid, I realized that I had automatically been judged by the color of my skin: she is a white, American woman and so she must be teaching us English. And they were right. Upon realizing this, I had a sick feeling in my stomach. How many others have come to “help” at Thandokhulu? Will these students just view me as some white woman taking them on as a “charity case”? Will my work even make a difference, especially in light of the fact that I am only here for 3 more months?   All questions which I may never have answers to.

I began teaching them essay writing, and allowed them all to choose a topic that interested them to write on. At first, the students seemed taken aback when I told them they could choose their own topic. I guess it was revolutionary to allow the students to have, and voice, their own opinions. As I walked around the classroom to help the students, I half expected to see essays on the World Cup or sports or after school activities they enjoyed, but instead what I saw were essays on teenage pregnancy, drug use, the difficulties of staying in school when your family needs you at home, HIV/AIDS, abortion, etc. The fact of the matter is that a student in the United States may never have thought to write about such pressing matters, however because these students face these pressures and these awful realities every day of their lives, they aren’t afraid to confront them or tackle them, even in an English class as they brain storm paper topics.

We did a practice essay on the board: “Should teens stay in school? Why or why not?” I thought that most students would discuss reasons TO stay in school, but instead, in all 4 of the classes I taught that day, the first answer to the question was, “No, teens should not stay in school.” I was shocked—not because they said no, but because of how incredibly legitimate their reasons were for staying out of school. “I could be staying at home to take care of my younger siblings because my parents are no longer around due to disease or death” or “I could be helping my family instead of wasting time here” or “The teachers don’t really care about us here” or “I have children myself that I need to be raising.” After finishing the reasons NOT to stay in school, I immediately had the students give me reasons TO stay in school and I think that seeing the contrast may have helped some of the students see the other side: that education breaks the cycle of poverty, that if they work hard they will be able to go to university and begin working and earning a living, that school helps them stay away from drugs and crime, and that it provides them with so many opportunities. One of my friends wisely told me in a letter from home: “It’s the students who are on the verge of dropping out that you are most likely to reach, Erica. It’s those particular students that are just looking for something, anything to convince them to stay.” I hope I can help them find that something.

Again, I question myself. What am I doing here in South Africa? I wrote a poem the other day and one stanza says:

What am I doing here?

Am I a tourist with calloused feet

From walking among shards of broken memories and tentatively putting my feet in the sand of islands that were prisons?

I want the answer to that question to be “no”. I am not a tourist. I am here to affect change. I am here to give hope. I am here to inspire and to be inspired by the incredible young students I am meeting. Hope. I’m here because of hope, and I’m here fighting for hope. I know that during my time here I will be discouraged. Discouraged by uninterested, unmotivated teachers who do not inspire their students to learn. Discouraged by corporal punishment and unjust exams and a country not living up to its constitution. Discouraged by students who have so much potential but let themselves fear failure. But I am encouraged, too. I am encouraged because I know that after 4 months I will leave South Africa a different person, never allowing myself to forget the stories of the people I am meeting. I am encouraged because for every student who said they should drop out, there was another student who talked of the kind of positive future that education would bring to him or her. I am encouraged because I believe there is a kind of healing and reconciliation in the nation that most people cannot wrap their brains around, and that, with a lot of work and continuing education, there really can and will be equality for all South African peoples.

While I was grading essays yesterday, I came across an essay a young girl wrote about failure sometimes leading to success. She wrote: “I know of several people who made the decision to commit suicide after failing their Matric exams. This is wrong. If you’ve failed, tell yourself that you will work even harder to get what you want. If you want to succeed, you cannot give up. You will not fail if you just have faith in yourself.” It is necessary to address both parts of this quotation: one, that failing the Matric exam for some students creates a feeling of utter hopelessness, a feeling that can even lead to suicide because of all of the weight that is placed on the Matric exam. However, despite this incredible pressure, this intelligent young girl also pointed out how important it is to work hard and remain positive when facing the possibility of failure. She writes, “I have learned that failure can lead to success—that failing should only make you work that much harder to get where you want to be.”  This kind of attitude is one that all teenagers here, and everywhere, should maintain, and I’m of the belief that with the help of motivated, hopeful, charismatic, and encouraging teachers, these students are really capable of incredible things.

Recently I have begun to read Graeme Bloch’s, The Toxic Mix: What’s Wrong With South Africa’s Schools and How to Fix It. In it he writes: “Education is about our common humanity as South Africans in a global world. This is no small thing in a world and a continent beset by recession, endless wars, and hatred… Education helps us, together, to solve the pressing issues of the day, from economic to political and social crises, from global warming and ecological disaster and war... Education has to change society. Like some holy spirit, its influence must reach everywhere to initiate people into the good things that society can offer; education must help us to participate and improve in every field of human and social endeavor.” The more time I spend in South Africa, the more I appreciate Bloch’s theory of education. It has to be top priority. After all, these young people are South Africa’s present, and more importantly, they are South Africa’s future.

Brittany's first post

I distinctly remember feeling overwhelmed with fatigue, excitement, and nerves on the 15 hour flight from New York to Johannesburg.  From the sky, New England had a dull coloration of white and brown.  As we approached the African continent I was instantly energized by the green fertile land below.  It appeared to be a continent with so much possibility and history, and both have proven true.

I have embarked on a journey with the possibility of gut wrenching experiences, lifelong international friendships, personal growth and ideological development.  I have embraced the chance to dive into new languages, foods, customs, social problems and solutions.  The possibilities feel endless.

I love the continual opportunities for human connection here.  The people of Cape Town are thankful and optimistic.  Language has not been a barrier for me.  In fact, I am learning to speak Xhosa quite easily.  It is a beautiful and unique language.  Black South Africans are often very surprised when I speak Xhosa, and ask “so you have been here for a while?”  What a wonderful compliment.

I have also learned to never underestimate the power of non verbal communication.  You don’t need words to make someone feel welcome or uncomfortable.  You don’t need words to make someone smile.  You don’t need words to teach a lesson.  Thoughts are often impossible to predict but emotions are a universal language.

My favorite places in Cape Town are the mountains.  It was extremely rewarding to summit Lion’s Head and Table Mountain.  The clouds are cold and moist when they touch your skin.  Life feels balanced and centered while on top of the sturdy mountain ranges.  The world below looks vast but peaceful.  Altitude rejuvenates my inner being.  I come back after each hike more appreciative of how capable and strong my body is.

President Jacob Zuma is not liked by most people I meet.  He is the center of many jokes.  He was harshly criticized a year ago for sleeping with an HIV positive women and showering immediately after intercourse thinking that would prevent HIV transmission.  He is also ridiculed for having 3 wives, a divorce, a current engagement, and a new 4 month pregnant partner out of wedlock.  One of the radical black feminists at my internship calls him “dirty old man.”

My internship is with Gender Equity Unit (GEU) at the University of the Western Cape.  GEU has received the national human rights and democracy award for gender equality in 2007.  GEU is the only organization in the country for gender equity at a higher education institute.  I learn more about the struggle of South African women each day.  As my GEU advisor would say, “women are still fighting our own apartheid.”

When I look back on the last 3 weeks I recall having the greatest emotional response to Robben Island.  As an activist who is willing to seek arrest, I found myself wondering, “how far would I go to create social change.”  Then I realized that the political prisoners at Robben Island had no choice but to escalate their tactics against one of the most violent white patriarchal governments in history.   I was outraged that the political prisoners met such violent resistance while fighting for their basic human needs and rights.  I was also outraged that the trip to Robben Island was merely a light hearted tourist attraction for most.  On the boat ride back I overhead conversations about shopping for clothes or buying a new yacht.  My brain was focused on genocides, massacres, and ethnic cleansing taking place right now all over the world!  I wanted to scream, “Who cares about your yacht, people are dying!”  

We all have the power to stop these injustices from happening.  I refuse to let Palestine become another museum like Robben Island where tourists can revisit the atrocities of our past rather than face the atrocities at present.

Cape Town has a history of struggle and pain.  The communities here will never forget that, but they don’t dwell on it either.  They have been able to forgive when no apology was given, which has been hard for me to understand.

It is no surprise that I see Cape Town as a place of endless possibilities.  As a white and wealthy person I have access to more money, more resources and therefore more possibilities.  I would not be on this trip if it were not for those unearned advantages.   The unearned privilege I have due to my race and class is something I think about daily.  What does it mean to be a volunteer in South Africa?  How do I help the people here?  My role is to be a tourist at times but more importantly to listen and learn with a critical and open mind.  

As Lilla Watson, an aboriginal woman in Australia stressed, “If you have come to help me, you are wasting our time.  If you have come here because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.”

Leah's first blog entry

Hi everyone! 

I’m reading Waiting for the Barbarians right now and came across this perfect quote to describe my time in South Africa so far…

“So now it seems my easy years are coming to an end, when I could sleep with a tranquil heart knowing that with a nudge here and a touch there the world would stay steady on its course.”

I wondered the other day if I will ever stop wrestling with these social, political, personal, and philosophical issues that I have been confronted with upon my arrival in Cape Town; if I will ever sleep easy again. I concluded that the answer is probably no – but it is better that way. After only three weeks I feel as though my life and outlook have been irrevocably transformed. I am so incredibly grateful that I have been given this opportunity to expand my mind, push my limits, challenge my comfort zone, and grow so much! I know everyone I live with is so sick of hearing this story, but my revelations really all started with the minibuses…

We had our minibus taxi exercise in the first or second week (the days continue to blend together…). Minibus taxis are a form of transportation – they’re actually privately owned but they function like public transportation. They are these vans (sometimes with interesting names like “Sexy Lady” or “Dream Catcher” but those are the ones that do not comply with government regulations…). Basically, Ben took us to the train station, pointed in the direction of the minibuses, and sent us on our missions. Brett and I were to find the minibus taxi to Wynberg and the cost of a ride. We walked up the stairs that Ben had guided us toward expecting to see a terminal with a time board but instead we were suddenly thrust into some kind of bizarre/flea market. Almost immediately, Brett and I were completely lost and had to ask a security guard for directions. He gestured to the left but some man next to him offered to take us to the minibuses. For whatever reason, we followed this man. As he took us through this market, all I felt was overwhelming discomfort. I felt completely lost and all I could hear were the clicks of Xhosa. I had never been more aware of the color of my skin in my life. I just wanted to crawl out of my skin and try to blend in, but we so obviously stuck out. I was picturing the worst but to my surprise, our personal tour guide ended up taking us to the right place (and did not scam us in any way). Then the minibus taxi driver told us the price without jacking it up even though we were obviously foreigners. These people were so honest and willing to help, yet I had felt uncomfortable and nervous. Why? I have been turning this question over in my head ever since. I know that I was not just nervous because I was unfamiliar with the city. When I studied in Granada, I was amongst Spanish speakers in a totally new culture, but they were white. I never felt the discomfort in Spain that I felt in Cape Town. I have decided that this minibus experience perfectly demonstrates the racism that is so alive in our social institutions, media, and American life. I never considered myself a racist. I have had friends who were not white. But being thrown into this situation, I felt so uneasy because I have been taught to feel uneasy. I have been taught to be unconsciously racist. We all have!  From the perspective of the laws to the “bad guys” in the media, there is racism woven into the fabric of our society.

Since my minibus taxi experience, I have felt so much more comfortable in this city and with myself! I am proud to know that I have challenged my comfort level, recognized the racism that I have grown up with, and moved past it. I do not know if you can ever ignore the fact that you are in the racial minority, but I have definitely become more comfortable with it. Now I am totally shocked when I see other white people on minibus taxis (though it is extremely infrequent). I had always thought that I understood the concept of racism and white privilege, but theories and ideas only really make sense once you live them. Race never seemed like a big deal to me and I had always prided myself on not noticing the color of skin. But everything changes once you are in the minority. Then race is impossible to ignore. 

Michelle's first post

After reading all of my classmates’ entries, it is almost hard to find someplace to start. All of the students here have had such deeply felt emotions and thoughts that it is hard to follow!

I guess I will start with my internship experience so far. I am an anthropology major with a minor in women’s studies, so in coming to South Africa I was really looking to work with a women’s organization and more specifically with issues of women’s health. I was very excited to be placed at a non-profit called Sonke Gender Justice Forum, which works with young men and boys to stop violence against women. Last week we visited everyone’s internship, and my place of work was slotted to be visited last. However, Vernon informed me in the morning that something had happened and we simply wouldn’t visit that day. I was optimistic, and was sure that I could find the place come the next Monday morning.

Over the weekend, however, things at Sonke fell through, for one reason or another, and it was time to find me a new internship. Vernon, with all his thoughtfulness and wisdom said to me, “Michelle, I have some propositions for you.” I was slightly nervous about changing my internship, and listened to Vernon’s propositions. I could have gone to the Gender Equity Unity with Brittany, worked at the Place of Hope, a domestic violence shelter, or, a third and intriguing option, Gender DynamiX. Gender DynamiX is the only transgender rights and advocacy group in all of Africa. Although most of my studies focus around women’s issues, I was eager and slightly nervous to work at a place with issues unfamiliar to me.

After talking to Ben, our RA, I had decided that GDX was the place for me. We really evaluated what I was looking for in my time here, and the answer was simply to learn. If my goal is to learn, and specifically to learn about oppression, then there is no better place to learn than at an organization that helps the most oppressed, stigmatized population in the country. Homophobia is a whole other animal here than in the States. Here it is acceptable for political leaders and reporters alike to use openly homophobic and hate-inciting language.

Since starting, I have had, if I may say so myself, one of the most unique internship experiences. The wonderful people at GDX are not only battling race and class issues like most non-white South Africans, but they also must face the world while being discriminated against because of their sexual and/or gender identity. I have been thrown into a world where gender is truly a spectrum, not on paper in my women’s studies textbooks, but in real life. It has given me a lot to think about with my own gender identity, and how I classify myself as a woman, and interestingly, how society deems me to be a woman. It has also given me a lot to think about in terms of my role as an ally to the LGBTI movement. My first few days I felt a little on the outside of conversations, not quite feeling that I belonged at GDX, being the only person who is not LGBTI. When I talked to Brittany about my insecurities she reminded me that no matter how long the acronym for LGBTI(QQOA…etc.) there is always an A at the end for Ally.

In other news about gender, here at the house, we talk of our bodies openly, and much to the chagrin of the two men, conversations about ovulation and synched cycles is normal breakfast chatter. I have never lived in a house with so many women, and it is an empowering and freeing feeling. We sit for hours talking about love, men, women, our sexual identities and society. In tradition with my favorite book, The Red Tent, we are even thinking of hosting a party with the new moon. I have learned almost as much about gender from my wonderfully open and honest housemates as I have at my internship.  

Kayley's First Post

Pamela & Kayley at Boulders Beach

Before I left for Cape Town I wrote down a few quotes in my journal that would be inspiring in case I ever needed a pep talk.  When I looked back over them I was amazed at how helpful they were. One in particular hit home, “ The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself…Great peace makers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.” ~Nelson Mandela What Nelson Mandela said is completely true, as much as I want to help South Africa there are things inside of me that need to grow and change in order for me to have any impact at all. That is why people come here with the idea of “helping” and “changing South Africa” but go home feeling transformed by South Africa.

My changing process started the moment I stepped off the plane but the event that had the most impact on me was the Baptist church. Our second day, Sunday in Cape Town we went to Guguletu (one of the townships) and attended Church. I felt so out of place. First, I am not religious at all and second I just couldn’t even begin to imagine what these people have been through. I felt like I didn’t have a right to be there. I accidently bumped into the mama next to me she turned, grabbed my arms and smiled at me then continued to sing and dance. I started to cry.  I don’t even know why I was crying. Later as I reviewed the day I realized why I was so hysterical, not only did I feel the love and community of the people around me but also everything clicked. These people had everything taken from them, their homes, their family, and their freedom.  Although their government took everything from them and forced them to live in segregated townships, they didn’t take their pride and their strong love for the community and each other. At home the government never took away my rights or made me relocate my home but I have yet to feel the love and compassion in my community. That Sunday I can truly say I felt ubuntu.

At the beginning of our orientation we were taken to all of the beautiful places in Cape Town. We relaxed and viewed Cape Town from a tourists perspective. As the week went on and we became more comfortable Vernon, Parks and Marita began to show us the history and realities these people faced and continue to face. At the end of the orientation week I no longer wanted to be a tourist, it was time to start helping. I think we all could see that although South Africa is absolutely gorgeous there is still so much pain and suffering here that needs healing.

The start of my internship was a bit rough but as it went on everything sort of worked out. I am really impressed with the Professor Rodes or “Prof” as we are told to call him. While shadowing him in the burn unit he was talking about the problems with modern medicine. He mentioned that it is too revolved around money, that technology is becoming too advanced for people to handle and how doctors are becoming too far disconnected from their patients. He said the most important part of medicine is compassion. He asked one med student “How many mitochondria do you cut through during surgery?” The med student replied “millions?” Prof said “BILLIONS, but who cares”. At then end of the day if you don’t know or are not compassionate for your patient you’re screwed. His honesty is also really refreshing, while doing the rounds he told his med students not to pat themselves on the back because you may keep a child alive or heal their burn but you don’t heal their heart or self-esteem. The matter of fact is that even after the hospital these kids will still suffer, especially when their skin is discolored or scarred or if they can’t walk again. The first way to help and heal someone is to be completely honest about the situation they are in and about to face.

One thing that continues to amaze me is the people I am living with. Living in a house and sharing our experiences, the good and bad, bring us so close. Putting aside everything I have learned from Cape Town itself, I have learned so much from the people in this house. Listening to everyone’s views on the world and life in general are amazing. I’ve never really been confronted about my opinions so hearing the other side to many of the things I was so sure about is completely refreshing. We are a team. With all of our internships we have the basic fields covered; education, media, gender equity, refugees, human rights and healthcare. It scares me to think that if we all never decided to study abroad our paths may have never been crossed, and if they did we may not have even known it. To think that I would never have gotten to know these people seems unreal. I would not replace anyone in this house.

It’s amazing to me how two weeks feels like a years worth of experiences. I came here with strong opinions of the world and myself. Right now I can say that there are so many things that I never knew, so many things that I thought I knew, and so many things to learn.  The things I worried about and thought excessively about in the states are so trivial compared to the realities here.